Leaving your dog alone: How to train them step by step

Every dog owner knows this moment: You're standing at the front door, jacket on, keys in hand – and your dog looks at you with a look that almost breaks your heart.

Unfortunately, for many of us, guilt is part of everyday life. But it is extremely important to understand: Dogs are highly social animals. Their natural way of life is geared towards living in a stable family unit. Being alone is simply not part of their evolutionary DNA. A dog benefits from the closeness and security of its humans – if left alone, this can instinctively trigger enormous stress or even deep anxiety.

Why do they still have to learn it? Even if your dog is rarely alone right now, life circumstances can change at any time. Career changes, family developments, or unforeseen emergencies sometimes require the furry friend to stay at home. A dog that has not been systematically prepared for this will panic.

Our goal is therefore for your dog to learn: I am safe, even when my human is not in the room. This guide shows you how to build this up together and stress-free.

• Puppies (up to 4 months): maximum 1–2 hours alone, preferably not at all.
• Adult, trained dogs: usually 4–6 hours, up to 8 in individual cases.
• There is no statutory hourly limit in either Austria or Germany. Only "regular, sufficient contact" with the primary caregiver is required.
• Training always happens in mini-steps: first seconds, then minutes, then hours.
• Distinguish separation anxiety (real panic) from loss of control (frustration over lack of control) – the training approaches differ.

There is no legally defined maximum duration – neither in Austria nor in Germany. The Animal Welfare Act merely stipulates that a dog must have regular and sufficient contact with its primary caregiver. What "sufficient" means specifically is not defined in hours.

In practice, however, clear guidelines have been established among veterinarians and dog trainers:

Important: These values are guidelines, not a guarantee. A dog with separation anxiety can panic even after 20 minutes, while a well-trained, well-exercised dog sometimes handles 8 hours just fine. What matters is always the individual training level – not a blanket figure.

If a dog is regularly alone for more than 6 hours at a time, a care solution should be arranged: dog sitter, Doggy Daycare, a dog hotel or a trusted person who stops by in between.

Dogs are highly social animals. Their natural way of life is geared towards living in a group – with constant interaction, shared tasks, and the security that closeness provides. Being alone is simply not part of their design. When a dog is left alone by its human, this can therefore trigger stress or even real anxiety – completely regardless of how well-behaved it otherwise is.

And yet: Every dog should learn to stay alone calmly. Not because it is convenient for us – but because life circumstances change. Career changes, family developments, unforeseen events – sooner or later, almost every dog will be confronted with being alone for a while. A dog that is not prepared for this can quickly become extremely stressed in such moments. The goal should therefore be for your furry friend to be able to stay alone calmly for several hours – without falling into a distressing state.

The reasons why some dogs find this particularly difficult to learn are varied:

• Lack of habituation is the most common. Dogs that received a lot of closeness as puppies may never learn that time to themselves is completely normal. Not a character flaw – but a learning deficit that can be well addressed with the right training.
• Breed predisposition also plays a role: dogs bred to be close companions – Border Collies, Vizslas, many Molosser breeds – simply need more training and more patience than others.
• Lack of mental and physical exercise is a frequently overlooked factor. A dog that is physically and mentally understimulated has too much energy left to doze calmly on its blanket. The solution here often lies not in the separation training itself, but in more sniffing, more thinking games, and more genuine exhaustion before being left alone.
• And sometimes past experiences play a role – with rescue dogs that have experienced the end of relationships, or with dogs that have been alone much longer than before overnight due to a sudden change in their owners' lives.

If a dog cannot stay alone, it is important to know the cause – because separation anxiety and loss of control often look similar from the outside, but have different roots. And this directly influences how you train.

True separation anxiety in dogs is not defiance or bad behavior – but from a veterinary perspective, it is a real anxiety disorder. The body releases massive amounts of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline when you leave. In this state, your dog simply cannot learn anymore – it reacts purely out of panic mode, without having any control over it.

How do I recognize separation anxiety?

The signs often start long before you leave the apartment. Your dog observes your morning routine very closely – reaching for your jacket, tying your shoes, looking at the clock. All of this already triggers a chain reaction in them:

• Panting, trembling, and whining as soon as you put on your jacket
• Restlessly pacing around or clinging to your legs
• Standing in front of the door to prevent you from leaving

As soon as the door closes, the stress often escalates within minutes:

• Continuous barking and howling
• Scratching and gnawing at door frames, furniture, or window sills – always where you were last or where your dog thinks there is an escape
• Refusing food or vomiting from pure stress
• Soiling the house despite enough walks – not out of convenience, but because the body cannot help it in panic mode

Important: Dogs with separation anxiety generally seek human closeness and have difficulty letting go. The presence of other people usually does not change their stress – it is not about company, but about their specific primary caregiver.

Two things are important at the same time:

1. Get professional support. Contact a certified dog trainer with experience in anxiety disorders or your veterinarian. In some cases, temporary medication is useful – not as a permanent solution, but so that your dog can get into a state where training can work in the first place.

2. Organize care for the interim. A dog with true separation anxiety should not be left alone during this phase. Not because you are spoiling it, but because every panic attack actively worsens the problem and makes later training considerably harder. Whether a dog sitter, dog hotel, Doggy Daycare, or a trusted person from your circle – every solution is better than a dog that is in an exceptional state for hours.

Less known, but just as relevant: Some dogs do not suffer from separation anxiety in the classic sense, but from a pronounced need for control. The difference is important – because the training also differs.

How do I recognize loss of control?

These dogs often appear confident and self-assured from the outside – but they have learned to constantly keep their surroundings and especially their humans in view. Typically, the stress does not start immediately after leaving, but only after a certain amount of time – when they realize they can no longer exercise control:

• Following everywhere – also within the apartment, also into the bathroom
• Intense observation and monitoring of their humans' movements
• Continuous barking or destruction of objects after a while of being alone
• Making seemingly independent decisions – blocking doors, limiting movements

The stress here arises not from fear of being alone, but from the feeling of no longer being able to control the humans.

What helps?

These dogs need one thing above all: Clarity. Not strictness – but clear communication about what is allowed and what is not. A dog that knows clear rules does not have to come up with its own.

• Give clear instructions. If your dog follows you from room to room, actively send it to its blanket. Do not scold, do not ignore – but give a clear instruction: "Place. Blanket." And then consistently enforce it. Whoever simply lets the following behavior happen unconsciously confirms to the dog that control is its job.
• Build up blanket training. The blanket becomes a fixed retreat and at the same time a training tool. Your dog learns: Lying calmly on the blanket is its job – not monitoring its humans. Start by rewarding it for lying quietly on the blanket while you move around in the same room. Then briefly leave the room, come back, reward. Step by step, the blanket becomes a safe place – even when you are not in view.
• Consistently stick to clear rules. Is it allowed in the bedroom? On the sofa? Following into the bathroom? Decide it – and stick to it. Dogs with a strong need for control seek orientation. Whoever says yes today and no tomorrow makes it impossible for them to truly relax.
• Do not put the dog in control situations. Do not assign tasks that make him feel responsible for safety or surveillance. Humans make decisions – and thus provide guidance.

For rescue dogs, an important rule applies: Give your furry friend time to settle into their new home first. The first few days and weeks are already full of new impressions, smells, and people – that is more than enough stimulation.

But – and this is crucial – after a short settling-in period of one to two weeks, you should consciously start leaving your dog alone briefly within the apartment regularly. Go into the bathroom, close the door. Go into another room. Give your dog the chance to learn: Being alone is normal, it happens regularly, and you always come back.

Unfortunately, many rescue dogs have experienced exactly the opposite in their past: broken relationships, unpredictable situations, no one to rely on. This makes it all the more important to build reliability and predictability from the start – in small, safe steps. Only when your dog can stay alone calmly within the apartment should you take the next step together: short breaks right outside the door, then the first few minutes outside – always in small steps, always with success.

The most important thing you need to know about training: The earlier you start, the easier it will be. Those who teach their puppy to be alone for short periods from the start – even before there is a problem – lay a foundation that will support the dog for life.

No drama, no getting used to constant presence, no bad habits that have to be painstakingly retrained later. Short separations from the start, built up gradually, are the best gift you can give your dog and yourself. Because puppies who learn early on that being alone is part of life simply do not develop any problems with it – they do not know it any other way.

This also applies to adult dogs that have to learn to be alone for the first time. It is also worth starting consistently from scratch here – even if that initially seems like less than you might imagine. It is better to practice for three weeks at the level of seconds and then make quick progress than to demand too much too soon and have to start over.

Also read: Puppy at home: The first few weeks – what you really need to know

Regardless of whether your dog is more prone to separation anxiety or loss of control, the basic training initially follows the same principle: start small, take manageable steps, and always end with success.

Step 1: Establish a fixed lying place

The first step has nothing to do with being alone yet. Your dog gets a fixed resting place – in a quiet, inconspicuous spot, not directly by doors or passageways. This place is positively reinforced so that your dog seeks it out voluntarily and feels comfortable there. The blanket will later become the anchor point for the entire training.

Step 2: Distance training in everyday life

Your dog learns to stay calm when you move away – initially still within their line of sight. Stand up, take a few steps, come back. Reward calm behavior. Then briefly leave the room – open the door, close the door, come right back in. Gradually increase the duration. Your dog learns the most important lesson: You leave. But you always come back.

Step 3: First real separation

Your dog stays alone in a safe, familiar room – initially only for a few minutes. The duration is gradually extended, always depending on how calm your dog remains. Important: Return before they become restless. Every successful completion counts more than one long session.

A camera or an old smartphone as a monitoring tool is incredibly helpful here – this way you can see exactly how your beloved reacts when you are not there. Are they sleeping? Are they pacing restlessly? Do they start barking after two minutes? These observations show you at what pace you can really make progress.

Step 4: Build up realistic everyday situations

Now it is about gradually building up and extending real situations – shopping, doctor visits, work. The same rule applies here: only as long as it corresponds to your dog's current training level. Steps that are too large often lead to setbacks. Better do it briefly more often than once for too long.

Dogs are masters at associating routines with meaning. Putting on shoes, grabbing keys, picking up a bag – for many dogs, these are reliable signals announcing: I'm about to be alone. And that is exactly what often triggers the stress response even before you have touched the door.

These so-called key cues should be deliberately desensitized. This means: Perform these actions regularly without leaving afterwards. Put on your jacket – and sit on the sofa. Take the keys in your hand – and go into the kitchen. Tie your shoes – and read the newspaper.

It sounds simple, but it makes a huge difference: When these cues lose their predictive power for your dog, they also lose their ability to trigger stress. The goodbye becomes something insignificant – and that is exactly the goal.

In addition to the actual training, there are several everyday things that make a massive difference – and that you can implement immediately.

• No big goodbye scenario: The extended cuddling right before leaving, the ten-fold "Be good, my dear!" – all of this signals to your dog that something special is happening. Keep your goodbye short, calm, and ordinary. Put down a lick mat, leave the apartment. Done.
• Make the arrival just as relaxed: Come in, ignore your dog for five minutes at first. Not because you are cold – but because you are teaching them that your return is something completely normal. Only when they have calmed down should you give them the big greeting. It sounds heartless, but it is the friendliest thing you can do.
• Introduce fixed rituals: Dogs are absolute creatures of habit and find real security in rituals. A specific chew item that only comes out when they are alone. A lick mat that is always filled just before leaving. A specific command like "I'll be right back." – such rituals signal: This is normal. Everything is fine.
• Build in a rest phase between activity and being alone: Before leaving them alone, your dog should be both physically and mentally tired – but there should be a short rest phase between the last activity and you leaving. A dog that goes directly from excited play to being alone will find it harder to relax.
• Never leave them alone for too long: Your dog should only ever be left alone for as long as corresponds to their current training level. Punishment for unwanted behavior during your absence is absolutely to be avoided – this behavior arises from stress, not from intention.

This may sound surprising at first, but from a veterinary perspective, it makes absolute sense: What your dog eats directly influences how relaxed they are.

A dog that gets low-quality ingredients – lots of fillers, cheap carbohydrates, artificial additives – often has fluctuating blood sugar levels. This sounds abstract, but it is absolutely relevant to their well-being: Blood sugar fluctuations lead to restlessness, irritability, and poorer stress processing. The nervous system is then simply constantly a little bit in alarm mode – even when there is no obvious trigger.

High-quality nutrition with first-class proteins, natural ingredients, and without unnecessary fillers, on the other hand, ensures even satiety, a healthy gut flora, and a balanced energy metabolism. And a dog that feels good from the inside out is simply easier to calm and easier to train.

In addition, healthy dog nutrition has a direct influence on gut health – and the gut is also closely linked to the nervous system in dogs. An intact gut flora supports the production of messenger substances that regulate well-being. In short: A healthy belly not only makes your dog physically fitter, but also emotionally more stable and more resilient to stress.

Being alone is not an innate ability – it is a skill that must be developed systematically. The key lies in structured, small-step training, a clear and reliable daily routine, and the knowledge that every dog can learn it.

Start early – as early as possible. Stay consistent, even when it sometimes feels like you're treading water. And don't forget: Your dog isn't working against you, but with you. They want to succeed. They just need someone to show them how.

A dog that has learned that it is safe even without its human can handle separation situations more calmly – and remain stable alone in the long term. That is no small goal. But it is one that you can achieve together. 🐾